End of R&R

We all awoke before the sun this morning around 3 am to drive Jason back to the airport, thus sending him back to Iraq. We arrived at Seatac at 5:30 and were gone by 5:45. Jason and I had agreed that it would be best for all to make this separation as quick as possible, so we simply let him out at the entrance of the air port. Jason did what he does best in tough situations, he made us all left and refused to see or let us cry. After returning from the airport the boys and I ate some breakfast and simply cuddled until it was time for us all to get back into the car and head off to school. I went through the motions of my day not really feeling because I was just trying to hold it all together. I picked the boys up from childcare and brought them back home to get a nap. I tried to sleep as well, yet my mind would not stop racing. Even though the boys could not or would not verbalize that they missed Jason today their sulky, whinny and clingy demeanour's said it all loud and clear. I had to muster all of my strength and understanding today to help my boys navigate through disputes, disappointments and feelings, that they couldn't name. I have not had a moment outside of right this instant to really feel the anguish of this day. I miss my husband and am all ready counting down the months until he returns again, but helping my boys and being for their for them is a far greater cause than sulking and getting depressed. I have shed my tears and now it is time to move on and make it through to the other side, one day at a time.